Monday, November 26, 2012

Swim free, my finsome, very special little angel-fish pal!



Here lie the remains of a most noble and excellent creature...

K for Karl: Here lies the body of a most noble and exquisite creature.

Swim free, my finsome, very special little angel-fish pal! Me little "Kombat Karl!"

Goodnight, sweet fish; and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!

For the first time in 20 years, I am fishless. :''{ 'Tisn't a pleasant feeling. It feels...wrong, and strange. I suppose I'll get used to it, 'til the time comes for more. The large main tank that's been in almost continuous use since the Christmas when I was a first-grader is now finally gone...not in good enough shape to really be able to repurpose. Le sigh.

My beloved, finsome, brilliant, playful, sociable, personable, cooperative, interactive, kissable, pettable, bubbly, dog-like, irreplaceable, friendliest of all fishies! My wee manly manfish!! Y U HAVE TO LEAVE. ;___; I RUV YOU. Well. I know that he was one happy little guy while he was with me. Although I'll deeply miss seeing him and his house, and his excited greetings and all of his myriad endearing antics...miss feeding him from his tower of food choices, and taking care of and arranging his house, and turning the heat lamp or candles on him when his heater wasn't enough, and turning on the bubbly least I know that we both felt the same way about each other! And he didn't linger or suffer. He must have passed away peacefully sometime during the night/morning. So...I suppose there isn't really too much to be sad about. Especially since he'd want his life to be celebrated and all the many good times, which were had on a daily basis, remembered. ;)

It just keeps hitting me that I can't and don't need to do all of those things with/for him anymore. ;-; I recently saw a pet memorial photo frame in a catalog that, in its simplicity, was one of the truest, most touching ones I've ever come across. It read: "Thanks for everything. I had a wonderful time." Yeah...I think that says it all perfectly for both of us.

Karl was a good fish...a damn good fish. Hope he's able to find all of my past ones (and perhaps even all my other animals), since he lived by himself and never knew any of them except for the three current dogs...and of course that pesky, identical-yet-far-less-dashing bum who occasionally showed up, moving in on Karl's turf and mimicking his every move...naturally he was successfully fended off on every attempt by the valiant, mighty, ever-victorious Karl! He truly was both a loving and a fighting fish to the end!! (Whose name means that he is a manly farmer. O_O) Hope he enjoys swimming the great rivers of the other side, and meets up all of our other animals...they should be able to sense one another.

He had the most personality, attitude, and personal bonding/attachment ability I've ever seen in a fish--and I have seen a lot of that.

The dates, of course, are just from the day I bought him to the day he passed. Obviously I don't know his actual birthday, but I celebrated August 4 as such.
He was named after the way my dad pronounces "coral." XD
I picked him out because of his handsome, velvety red-and-violet coloration and the fact that his house at the store most closely resembled the one I already had (but soon after replaced with a much larger one)...little did I know that I had selected very possibly The World's Greatest Fish! 8*-}

I sang his manly, fishly praises with each photo I uploaded...and picked out the best shots to choose among for his headstone.
Literally, I buried him in the backyard (a veritable "pet sematary," so lovely for whomever buys this house after we eventually sell it), in a nut tin...beneath the letter "K," written in splinters of wood......I had originally spelled his name with a C, but some time last year came to prefer the K.
Needless to say, I would Frankenweenie him if possible...

Thankfully I wasn't forced to see Karl in a terrible, painful position; he was simply lying at the bottom, peacefully and wholly intact, as if in a deep sleep. Of course, had I known that it were to be his last day I would have spent a lot more time with him and been readier to say goodbye...but that would have been impossible. At least he wasn't alone and knew how much I loved him...
In your honor, O majestic Karl, have I just purchased a new plush fish and spent some time recording & communing with the ones in Cabela's aquariums.

Of course I knew the day would come eventually, but dreaded it--knowing how very difficult the loss would be to take, and that whenever it was would feel like much too soon. You always want them to be able to stick around longer. (Ahh, the price we pay for loving any living creature!) At times it truly seemed that he'd just keep going and going and be around forever; maybe on some level I did unrealistically believe this wouldn't happen . A painful emptiness hangs over my bedroom now, in spite of all my other stuff--as though he's always had a place here, even long before I ever found him. I hate having to talk about him in the past tense; I hate hearing his name; I hate having so much more space on my dresser, and suddenly not having to close the drawers carefully so as not to slam them and disturb him I miss the way he'd sidle up and rub against your finger like a cat; I miss the stupid little "Karly-warly, fish of barley, Karly-warly-doo" song my mom would sing while wagging her finger at him whenever she came into my room. (I think he just tolerated the song and eventually grew as tired of it as I did, but always went to say hi to her anyway.) Obviously I'll become used to it as with every other time this happens, but I keep wanting to play with and talk to him...I've grown so accustomed to his fishy little presence...the first day without him has sucked, and it likely still will for a while.

So long, good buddy. Well, heck, why not keep on talking to ya? I know you know you're more than welcome to come back and hang out as often as you please--in fact, you'd better! You don't need to be constantly submerged anymore! How cool is that?! You always did seem to wanna be able to be more like us on the other side of the glass, in that way! ;) So yeah, why NOT keep talking? You just might be there...

"How very special are we,
For just a moment, to be,

A part of life's eternal rhyme.
How very special are we
To have on our family tree,
Mother Earth and Father Time.
~Charlotte's Web (1973)

"He was a fish, take him for all in all. I shall not look upon his like again."

Matter of fact, he was very, very Yorick-like...for a fish. Oh, Karl, why did ya have to go...!!! But, I'm grateful for the time he had as my best little betta buddy.

No comments:

Post a Comment